Thursday, April 16, 2009

38 years and counting

Jim and I were married 38 years on April 14. It hardly seems possible! Not so much from the standpoint of the years flying by as that it actually happened.

People often ask us about the secret to a successful collaboration, in marriage and writing. We have answers, of course, but the REAL answer is that we have always been separate but together. Both of us were loners when we met, outsiders, and we chose to be loners together.

The day after we got married (my mom's idea) I burned our marriage license. I knew we'd either stay together because it was right for us or not. No little piece of paper can make it so.

We have struggled and fought and made up a thousand times. There have been triumphs and tragedies. But through it all we have maintained our friendship, our passion, and our love for each other. It was only natural that it would spill over into the thing we loved best besides each other and our children: books!

I never thought it would last so long but I'm a one day at a time kind of person so it surprises me when I wake up each morning. I can't see the future so I don't know what it will be in regard to our relationship.

But on the 14th, we had about four hours to fill between meetings. We drank some red wine by a waterfall. We watched a thunderstorm cross our favorite lake. Then we had a wonderful dinner together. That night, his head was next to mine on the pillows when we went to bed. That's enough for me!

Joyce Lavene
PS Jim sent me this plant at the newspaper and now I have to wonder what he's up to.

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